Now I have been performing childrens magic for many years, and, having been putting on shows for nearly thirty-five years now, I reckon I have experienced most happenings and occurrences which we childrens entertainers come across in this business. That is until just the other week. I had been booked for a childrens party in a house at Holmewood. Now for those of you who are not from Bradford, and don't know the area, Holmewood has been likened to the Beirut of Bradford. On at least two separate occasions that I am aware of, the bus company has refused to run buses through the Holmewood estate, due to the attacks on drivers, particularly late at night. Now being extremely ferocious (or foolhardy), I decided that 12 noon on a Sunday should be a safe time in which to visit this part of Bradford. Perhaps I should also say, although I am sure you will have guessed by now, Holmewood is, or should I say was, a council house estate (was because all the council houses in Bradford have been taken over by a Housing Association). When I arrived there, the sun was shining and, as many of the houses had recently been modernised, was looking quite fine. I found the street where I had been booked, and driving slowly down the road, looked carefully for the house number. Now I found the number before the number I was looking for. And I found the number after the number I was looking for. But where was the number I was looking for? Well I eventually decided that it was the house that was totally boarded up and empty. Now had I got the wrong address, I wondered? So I drove round the street, looking to see if I could see any house where a party might be happening. All I could see were a family sat out in the sun. I asked them if they knew the house number and name I was looking for. All they could confirm was that I had found the right house, and that the family had been evicted recently. I even tried ringing the phone number I'd been given when I got back home (no mobile phone man, me), but the number was dead. I wonder what sort of a party the poor girl (who was 7) had? Now I normally check a couple of days before the party, just to make sure everything is still happening (I've done this for many years since I went to a party on the wrong day!). But this time I didn't do it, as it wasn't long since I'd received the booking. It was definitely a first - wrong day - wrong time - wrong child - wrong age - wrong name - can't find the house - you name it, I've done it. But I've never found the house and it was empty! Oh well, as Pam said when I got home, look on the bright side. If I had done the party I'd have probably been paid with a cheque that bounced!
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