I cannot remember the first time I went to the theatre it was so long ago. I know that I stole, some money from the piggy bank my two sisters were putting money into for my rainy day, and was shunned for a long time when they (both strict Baptists) found out. They were doubly horrified when they found out that I had used the money to go to a music hall. Sure I enjoyed the acts, and I had a bit of a snigger when one trumpet player hit a note before the conductor signalled him to play it. But I think that I enjoyed the interior of the (dusty) theatre, the rather threadbare seats, the orchestra pit and the thrill as the safety curtain came down and of course the curtains being lit up just before they swished open. Great still and 1, most certainly ignorant of what went on backstage, just watched the artists artisting away for all they were worth (possibly E25 per week), and everyone marking time until the named act came on. I think it was this that made me decide that I would like to be part of it. Bit part maybe; but a part of it. Now of course I am retired, having earned a fairly comfortable living of two, maybe three million a year, doing playgroups and getting a name for myself as a professional childrens hater. Now one can retire gracefully, and how I envy those that can, but somehow I could never see myself with shawl, and possibly a clay pipe (yep, they are still made, 'cos I have seen them in Charing Cross Road, where they sell snuff, tobacco and all sorts of things that are totally unhealthy for you). Now just a short walk from there, if a mile and a half is a short walk, one comes to Covent Garden. In my old age I still get a thrill walking around seeing the street artists performing, and the general bustle, be it shopping or pick pocketing. One does not need to be an opera lover to go through the revolving doors of the Royal Opera House and into the shop there, where they sell (rather expensive) items all relating to opera and ballet on CD's and DVD'S. Because it always gives me so much pleasure, I am afraid that I must admit that I more or less follow the same course each time I go up there, unless a pretty girl walks by, in which case I follow her until she out-walks me. Just across the way is the Theatre Museum; it's the national museum of the performing arts. This is also somewhere that you can get into for free, but I always come out with something from their show. Will I ever learn? Having viewed the various artistes, costumes, model theatres, puppets, etc, that are there, which I wrote about in another magazine, I came across various sayings (authors unknown to me). One such saying, and I quote, was, "If you work in the theatre you have to be a magician. You have to excite and make audiences wonder." Now I do a one-man show, by that I mean that there is normally only one man in the audience, and so I am green with envy (something to do with being in the jungle for so long). But the whole place simply reeks with that exciting smell (???) that one associates with the auditorium and stage of the theatre. Quite recently I bought my monthly book of classical music, and. there on the back page was a picture of a certain theatre, hall, call it what you may. Unfortunately there was advertising material written right across it, marring the picture completely. So not to be undone, or over done, or out done, I wrote to this theatre asking the boss man if they had a picture of the interior of the hall unblemished by the advertising blurb. A fortnight later back came a photograph of the hall (or theatre) and a delightful letter from the Director's PA hoping that the photograph, now having the offending words phased out (is that the right expression?), and the hall with full size concert grand occupying centre stage. Now I suppose anyone who goes out doing kids shows or those lucky enough to do full stage shows, might ask me in my dotage, "What the blazes has this to do with me?" We get a booking, do a show, get paid and that is that. But I have a rough idea that many a good artist still gets a thrill as he or she walks into a (possibly new to them) theatre and sees the stage, curtains and with a practiced eye notes, almost unconsciously, the lighting, drapes, etc, of those things that make the living theatre, magician or not. By the way, if you are not too happy with your face and it does not look a. little bit like your publicity pictures taken years ago, the Theatre Museum does have free make-up sessions, and it is amazing what a little bit of blue eye shadow and some polyfilla can do to your appearance. |
