The Billet Article - Melvyn's Month in Magic

This article is taken from The Billet Issue - 409 - Feb 2006, Authored by Melvyn Shalks

Melvyn's Month in Magic

After extensive research I can now reveal, "How the Internet began"

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy, Dot for short. And Dot Com was a strong woman, extremely erotic. Indeed, she was known as 'Amazon Dot Com.' And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Tobias's National Transport (TNT)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A young Christian Bedouin did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was after accused of insider trading.

But others followed him and did take to Dot Com's trading; as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others. We need a name we can register"

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," cried Abraham.

And that is how it all began.

Select a year to view - 2009 || 2008 || 2007 || 2006 || 2005 || 2004 || 2003 || 2001